just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Green mimosas i think yes
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
