After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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