what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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