and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
