giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
where are you?
Hypothermia
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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