Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
