I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
