dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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