Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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