A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
