what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
