finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
