So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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