how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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