I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize