CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
