My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
