Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Everyone says I win the strip club
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
