Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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