I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
