It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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