I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize