OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
