you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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