We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
