I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
