it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
