i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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