She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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