hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize