I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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