Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
