i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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