11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Quick, to the slutcave!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
