his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
