she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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