U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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