Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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