Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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