You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
