when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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