he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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