If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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