Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
