Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
