You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
