i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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