I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
