what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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