Do you still have your period?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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