As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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