Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
