Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
