You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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