South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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