Tell her she can't have a vagina
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
