the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
