ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
