make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
