first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
