Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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