I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
