I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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