does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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