i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
