i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
