He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So many bounce houses so little time
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
